On getting out of your head (AKA SCREW SELF-CONSCIOUESNESS)

I went today to see Salute, a UK garage DJ, In SF. I decided to drink because it makes me more social and energetic. My friend V didn’t. I was trying to make convo but I think when surrounded by a lot of people we tend to get worried and uncomfortable about what’s going to happen, etc.

The music began playing it was awesome, but I just felt so tense and unable to express myself naturally. I also felt V was in his head and wasn’t tended and was wondering how I was affecting all this… what I could do. I known it sounds like a lot of responsibility, but also it’s my fun I was trying to actively nurture.

To take responsibility of your on emotions and fun, you need to put in work. That’s what I hike be.

Well anyways something really interesting I realized was that I felt shy to be stupid and dance round V or anyone sells wig that matter. I thought about how if my good friend A was here then we’d join arms and dance and sing freely without feeling dumb or rather being okay being dumb.

I think we may try to act cool, like things don’t matter, that things are serious when in reality they aren’t. Or or at least you shouldn’t treat them that way in that they inhibit you from being yourself.

When I realized that it was because my friend A and I would be okay being stupid and dumb together did I realize that what I needed to make V comfortable was just be… dumb/stupid! To show that it was okay to do stupid and silly things.

But actually they I ended up having fun. I started moving and dancing, pushing myself to move in new and “weird” and “silly” ways To express myself.

By becoming active I saw myself bloom and jump and dance with others around me - from guys to girls. people even went out of their way to interact with me to ask them to dance with them. It was sick! I also obviously had the time of my life dancing, sweating, and laughing.

The other day while I was problem solving for work I found myself stuck… I’ve tried many ways to get unstuck. I watched a good video though on how to access your “analytical” mind. There’s a filter on your brain that filters the ideas you generate, and by writing down anything and everything while there a lot of things that were in my head, I was able to not just clear my brain but begin to see connections and creative.

I think the phenomenon seem interesting and similar. You should just express as much as possible, to see how you feel, to warm up, to get in the groove. I don’t know if my body today while dancing for the “right” groove / thing to do as much as just focusing on moving and trying things...

AKA FUCK SELF CONSCIOUSNESS!!